Church of Satan: Third Side Intelligence
For centuries mankind has formed clandestine cabals sharing arcane lore and forbidden rites. At times the uninitiated have glimpsed the secrets shared by captains of industry, back-room dealers, and men of science fueled by forward-thinking philosophies. We now fling wide those concealing curtains to bring you expressions of Satanic thought. Welcome to Third Side Intelligence.
You will find the most recent posts from our official Third Side Intelligence feed, found at news.churchofsatan.com/tagged/third-side-intelligence, below. We are displaying them here for your ease of reviewing our current media briefs, without leaving our churchofsatan.com website.
Posted on Wednesday October 07, 2015
Listening to Gilbert Gottfried: A Worthwhile Torture
Gottfried is what some might call “stuck” in the past. In this case, that unfashionable attitude is a Satanic virtue. His guests are showbiz veterans who share his old-fashioned obsessions, often having played a part in that very history. Gottfried and his co-host also review films, a number of which happen to be on the Church of Satan’s recommended viewing list.
Combining irreverent humor with reverence for the comedy and horror that influenced him as a budding entertainer, Gottfried embodies what we call ECI: Emotional Crystallization Inertia. The “E” can also stand for “erotic,” but with a voice like Gilbert Gottfried’s, that goes without saying.
Gottfried has even appeared in a show ID bumper for The Devil’s Mischief, another excellent comedy podcast, produced by our own Magister Bill M. (I think he did this to clean up his sometimes controversial image.) His rants also influence my own work on Between the Horns, part of the 9sense podcast.
I’ve been binge-listening to this show lately. Even when I’m not familiar with the guest, it’s a laugh riot with plenty of insights for comedians and other creative… can I say souls? Anywho, turn down the volume and tune in to this podcast. It’s more than worth every ear-withering decibel.
—Warlock M. A. Mandrake
Posted on Saturday September 05, 2015
Surrealistic Inspiration for Satanists
“Those who might dispute our right to employ the term SURREALISM in the very special sense that we understand it are being extremely dishonest, for there can be no doubt that this word had no currency before we came along. Therefore, I am defining it once and for all…” —André Breton, The Surrealist Manifesto (1924)Sounds familiar, doesn’t it? The Surrealists defined their movement from a truly Surrealistic point of view. That is what the Church of Satan has, for half a century and counting, done for Satanism.
(While I am on this topic: Surrealism is among the creative approaches mentioned by Magus Peter H. Gilmore in his essay “Satanic Aesthetics” from The Satanic Scriptures. This is a worthwhile read for any Satanist interested in the artistic expression of his or her unique worldview.)
—Warlock M. A. Mandrake
Third Side Intelligence is a series where members of the Church of Satan present their individual commentary on current events, media, politics, and culture.
Posted on Friday September 04, 2015
The Feigned Martyrdom of Kim Davis
According to the New York Times, Ms. Davis’ lawyer, Roger Gannam, believes she has been incarcerated for her “belief of conscience that marriage is the union of one man and one woman”. This is incorrect, she’s in jail because she refuses to do her job and is being held in contempt of court for acting as if she’s above the rule of law. Unfortunately the media is giving this miserable failure the gift of fame and notoriety well beyond her sub-mediocre capabilities. While the spotlight happens to shine on this one dimwit, who wants to place the dictates of her mythical God above the law of the land, the success of a certain parody Twitter account reveals a level of sympathy for those who have to put up with such banal solipsism on a daily basis.
—Reverend Raul Antony
Posted on Wednesday September 02, 2015
AHRIMAN causes ANGST
From the article:
Mr. Jaskolka said the sculpture, named for the Zoroastrian spirit of destruction, was a personification of the negative forces of materialism in 21st-century society. “Our culture is dominated by these influences,” he said. “ ‘Ahriman Crowned’ symbolizes the loss of spirituality and individualism within the human soul.”Mr. Jaskolka’s art is inspired by ancient mythology and includes very primal figures, including a potent Minotaur Bound. Made of roughly-hewn stone, Jaskolka’s work, which he began creating in 2009, might remind one of the stone Watchers from Aronofsky’s film NOAH (2014).
While this piece is intended to critique aspects of modern culture that the Roman Catholic Church would also oppose, I find it amusing that their immediate reaction is that it is an homage to their Satan, a figure related to the myth of Ahriman. As we diabolists know, Anton LaVey included Ahriman amongst the roster of Infernal Names in The Satanic Bible, to be used in rituals of Greater Magic meant as cathartic psychodrama, rather than rites of Devil worship.
In Satanism, which is a carnal religion, we find that our reason, pragmatism and positive materialism lead us to have quite a strong sense of individualism. And we don’t believe in souls, nor think such a concept necessary to champion the value of one’s unique consciousness.
While the mythological Ahriman has a different significance to us than to the artist, I enjoy that Jaskolka’s statues, which have been voluntarily displayed in various public locations, have the power to cause controversy as they challenge their beholders to think, and that’s surely a proper purpose for successful works of art. The artist’s manager, Darren Nelson, has informed us that this piece can be purchased for $66k, in case any of our readers would like to give this bold embodiment of the “dark spirit” a permanent and fitting home.
—Magus Peter H. Gilmore
Pertinent Links:
New York Times article.
Joseph Jaskolka Sculptures
Ahriman Crowned
Posted on Monday August 24, 2015
Planned Parenthood Panic?
Planned parenthood denies these accusations. It should be noted that mechanisms for supplying fetal tissue for medical research have long been in place, since it serves to assist researchers in working towards cures for eye diseases, muscular dystrophy and diabetes, amongst other maladies. The science is not yet in place for using adult stem cells in these studies, but that is being sought as it seems even more promising for establishing methods that could assist millions of people suffering from diseases. One must wonder whether folks who would deny fetal tissue for research would avail themselves of cures which arose from such studies for illnesses they themselves might have?
Opponents of abortion and birth control seem to support the “every sperm is sacred” thinking so aptly lampooned by Monty Python in their film The Meaning of Life. Because of their frenzied passion for preserving the existence of zygotes, we’ve witnessed anti-abortionists harassing women who sought help at Planned Parenthood health centers and, from their extremists, the murder of doctors who perform abortions and even the bombing of clinics offering women safe and sanitary abortions. These people who absurdly call themselves “pro-life” include fanatics who are willing to extinguish the lives of adult human beings with whom they disagree in favor of unborn potential lives. And they think that their God supports such actions. These days one might more accurately recognize this as a form of theism-generated terrorism.
It would be far more in line with their stated principles to raise funds for organizations meant to care for unwanted children and pay for their feeding, clothing, upbringing, and education until they can be adopted by families who would look after them until they can become autonomous, self-supporting members of society. Of course, the costs involved in such efforts would be astronomical. And we must bear in mind that when the Roman Catholic Bon Secours nuns in Tuam, Ireland ran a “Home” for unwed mothers and their children from 1925 to 1961, that those women were essentially forced into indentured servitude and many of their children died of neglect and malnutrition, as 800 children’s skeletons dumped in a cistern have proven. So with that track record, one cannot trust these so-called “lovers of life.” Their contemporaries take the easy (and cheaper) route, bullying women to bear children they are reluctant to raise who may eventually be put up for adoption or simply shuffled from foster home to foster home. Somewhat better than starvation and burial in a sewer, certainly. Far better, for many reasons, to teach and encourage contraception.
The philosophy of the Church of Satan supports medical research as we Satanists do not believe in an afterlife and consider our vital existence to be of paramount importance—we’d like to live long and healthy lives. Our philosophy advocates responsible freedom of sexual activity amongst consenting adults, meaning that Satanists who chose to engage in sex would be mindful of preventing sexually transmitted diseases and would employ contraception should procreative sexual acts be enjoyed when pregnancy was not the intended goal. Here in the 21st century there is no mystery about the biology surrounding human sexuality and thus the readily available contraception is expected to be utilized by our adherents. If contraception is not at hand, Satanists are sexual connoisseurs who know that there are many forms of erotic pleasure that don’t result in pregnancy.
Our fundamental principle of being completely responsible for our actions dictates that for Satanists all parenthood should be planned, an endeavor taken up when the intended parents have determined that they are both emotionally and financially able to handle the task of raising one or more children—and that would include adopted children as well as one’s biological offspring. For children under the care of Satanist parents, educating them towards being intelligent participants in the social contract of the societies in which we live would also include communicating accurate information about human biology as part of their general education.
Satanists find that in a world wherein religions often wish to keep children and young adults ignorant about the consequences of sexual activity, thus resulting in unplanned pregnancies, that supporting an organization like Planned Parenthood becomes an important consideration. Since many people in our society do not share our commitment to forethought and responsibility, many Satanists support sex education in public schools as worthwhile to combat religion-imposed ignorance. We understand that organizations such as Planned Parenthood can provide additional worthwhile services to young people in need of education, counseling and contraception as well as point them to clinics where safe abortions might be obtained when needed. While Satanists and their offspring should be savvy enough not to be bringing unwanted children into the world, we can see that we are a minority in a society wherein lack of knowledge and irresponsibility has lead to many pregnancies and births, producing infants who don’t have the support from their progenitors needed to grow to their full potential as individuals.
In the wake of these Christian actions regarding the accusations against Planned Parenthood, we’ve noted a disturbing instance in which a web site for The Lepanto Institute, purporting to be “dedicated to the defense of the Catholic Church against assaults from without as well as from within,” has published an interview with a man claiming to be an “ex-satanist” who states that he was involved in performing abortions intended as sacrifices to The Devil, whom he clearly believes to exist. We immediately recognize this as a revival of the bogus tales spread by evangelical Christians during the 80s-90s in what we call “The Satanic Panic.” Long debunked as fraud and urban legend, the concept that a global conspiracy of devil worshippers endorsed by Satan himself with adherents performing heinous crimes is clearly fictional. Back then it was embraced by many, especially since these fraudulent claims were accepted unquestioningly by journalists and talk show hosts both nationally and locally in the US and the UK. I spent many hours opposing such nonsense on radio and television back then. In this piece, which is crafted as a regurgitation of stories told by evangelist (and “comedian”) Mike Warnke in his 1978 book The Satan Seller, “Zachary King” claims that after playing Dungeons and Dragons and being a fan of Star Wars and Star Trek that he joined the “World Church of Satan” and attained the rank of “High Wizard,” doing spells for celebrities and the wealthy. Of course this is a laughable, implausible fantasy, but such drivel has been embraced in the past. Warnke’s book sold well amongst those wanting to believe in this fiction and “King” claims he’s writing a book which may serve to generate income for him from today’s gullible readers.
Now, we Satanists won’t fall for this bunk, particularly since we are mindful of Satanic Sin number 7: “Forgetfulness of Past Orthodoxies—Be aware that this is one of the keys to brainwashing people into accepting something new and different, when in reality it’s something that was once widely accepted but is now presented in a new package.” But others likely won’t be so perceptive and may swallow this stale story whole. At this point there are others outside of Satanism who will also rise to point out such tales to be false, but I do find it perturbing that such a complete resurrection of Warnke’s nonsense is now being offered by a group with dubious credentials. Both web site and interview resemble the parodistic articles found on The Onion. As the faithful attack aspects of society that prevent them from imposing their beliefs on others, they offer fantasy to frighten people into obedience. That’s always been their modus operandi, so we’re not fooled, and there are now more who stand with us as skeptics and freethinkers. We’ll be watching to see who falls for the scam this time around.
—Magus Peter H. Gilmore
Pertinent Links:
Planned Parenthood
Bon Secours Nuns in Tuam, Ireland
The Lepanto Institute
Mike Warnke
Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life
Posted on Monday August 17, 2015
Last night on Last Week Tonight John Oliver took on the tax-free...
Last night on Last Week Tonight John Oliver took on the tax-free televangelist industry, noting how these hucksters can pull in huge audiences and sucker them into handing over all their cash and not have to pay a cent in taxes since they are hiding under the banner of religion. This is especially interesting as Oliver has a huge audience himself whose outrage has translated into real world impact on more than one occasion. NYC changed bail requirements for low-level offenders and the FCC was completely overwhelmed with support for net neutrality thanks to previous Oliver rants. As this aired less than 24 hours ago it’s far too soon to know what, if any, results will come from it—and this might be too idealistic—but I for one can only hope this sparks similar action and politicians are forced to reconsider this fraudulent system and begin thinking about making churches pay their fair share just like everyone else.
—Reverend Sean Bonner
Posted on Wednesday August 12, 2015
Satanist Methodists?
Unsurprisingly, this prompted an open letter from “United Methodists in support of Sandra Bland and Rev. Hannah Adair Bonner,” asserting their significant local numbers as well as their faith in Jesus Christ, not Satan, stating that their public mission is "to make disciples of Jesus Christ for the transformation of the world.” Hardly an endorsement of diabolism.
We who are actually Satanists—pragmatic atheists who view Satan as a symbol of pride, liberty and individualism—are well acquainted with such behavior as Christian denominations throughout history have accused one another of being “Of the Devil,” even to the extent of persecuting, torturing and exterminating rival sects, though all claim to be worshippers of the same mythical deity and his sacrificial son.
Here in the USA in 21st Century Texas, when one Christian wishes to denigrate another via association with things Infernal, he cannot put his victim to the rack and stake as has been done so many times in the past. Yet one can observe the same hostile motivation is still present, though it currently does not result in physical torture and murder of the accused. That may be considered some measure of progress towards civilization.
Satanists do exist—the Church of Satan now being in its 50th year of existence—and both the Sheriff and the Methodists seemed to have missed out on the fact that we don’t have faith in Satan, rather we have confidence in ourselves to be the captains of our destinies. Confusing a theist with we atheists is something that both parties would find distasteful. However, it should be noted that Satanism champions justice and promotes skepticism and reason as tools towards an ongoing search for understanding. Concerned Satanists would thus support a thorough investigation of the circumstances of Ms. Bland’s death, and then for justice to be dealt according to the carefully and scientifically determined facts of this case.
Sheriff Smith’s remarks successfully insulted Rev. Hannah Adair Bonner, albeit through their mutual misprision of the philosophy of the Church of Satan. Yet I find it interesting that he inadvertently identified in her actions what we’d consider a genuinely Satanic dedication for determining the truth and exacting justice accordingly.
—Magus Peter H. Gilmore
Pertinent links:
View the videos of Sheriff Smith on this Houston Press article posted Tuesday, August 11.
Read the complete August 11th open letter response on the United Methodist Insight page.
Posted on Wednesday July 29, 2015
HELL’S BELLS: Satanic Weddings
The qualifications to officiate at weddings in the U.S. vary across the states and can even be different from county to county. In New York State (outside of NYC) one may be eligible by being ordained via an existing religious organization. Magister Joe Netherworld (dubbed “America’s Favorite Satanist” in this documentary) performed the first legally recognized same-sex wedding in New York State by a Satanic clergyman in the Fall of 2013. The happy couple publicly re-affirmed their vows in a Beetlejuice-themed ceremony attended by scores of costumed revelers this past Halloween season with Magister Netherworld as proud officiant.
A new frontier is dawning for people wishing to wed and the Church of Satan celebrates couples who may at times be beyond past traditions: “May your bliss be unbounded, and may your love wax ever stronger during your journey together!”
The Satanic Wedding rite is included in my book, The Satanic Scriptures.
—Magus Peter H. Gilmore
Pertinent Links:
Interview with Reverend Lee Crowell
Satanism Today
9sense Podcast
Magus Gilmore on SCOTUS same-sex marriage decision:
Church of Satan Year 50 Conclave
America’s Favorite Satanist
The Satanic Scriptures
Posted on Sunday July 19, 2015
MEREDITH WHITNEY, THE "WITCH" OF WALL ST. & THE POISONOUS FRUIT OF IRRESPONSIBILITY
Regarding state subsidies that prop-up public pensions and the contrast with private investments that are of a sink-or-swim nature, this interview of her with Steve Forbes echoes the Nekromonger creed, “You get to keep what you kill.” Cf., the film Riddick. Satanists interested in finances will likely get a hoot out of the subtext in other more vanilla parts of the interview:
The Greek crisis is really a blip on the radar, considering some of the statistics and projections concerning the U.S.A. According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, no more than 70% of grown men in America work. Authors such as ATOL’s “Spengler” (David P. Goldman) wonder, “What do they live off?” The answer, of course, is the hard-earned money of society’s productive members. As David P. Goldman writes in the Asia Times, “In the near term, the Greek example probably will discourage populism. In the longer term, the rancor of the spongers threatens the political fabric of the United States as well as Western Europe. The failure of debt-fueled populism in the Third World raises the risks of similar crises elsewhere.”
You can set your watch and warrant on it that “We the People” will go broke bailing out the spongers, and “austerity” will be the catchword of the 21st Century. The poisonous fruit of the tree of irresponsibility eventually poisons all. “Satan represents responsibility to the responsible instead of concern for psychic vampires!” But alas, policy-makers have fallen in love with having a voting bloc beholden to them for goodies. One can imagine that the U.S. will be vampirized and discarded like a desiccated husk. As some say, worse is better.
—Satanist D.P.R.K.
Posted on Thursday June 25, 2015
“The means by which a humanoid may be constructed are as...
“The means by which a humanoid may be constructed are as diverse as the choice of materials will allow.”
—Dr. Anton Szandor LaVey, The Devil’s Notebook.
Decades ago, Dr. LaVey predicted a future industry of android companions. As we are making our way into the second decade of the 21st century, a genuine bond between man and machine is closer than ever. The company that introduced The RealDoll to the world has started a new enterprise called, Realbotix. This new effort brings robotics and artificial intelligence to the RealDoll, with an end goal towards creating the illusion of sentience within the doll enhancing this product’s apparent realism.
The short video “Robotica,” recently posted by The New York Times, gives a startling depiction of how close the worlds of man and machine are now meshing. The video can be seen above.
Some members of society will be shocked from this video, some will be amazed. Some will find it appealing and others will find it appalling. Whatever the rest of the world may think, those familiar with the writings of Dr. LaVey will recognize this as yet another prediction of his that has come to be true. He spent numerous hours modifying and elaborating mannequins, discussing his efforts in his collection, The Devil’s Notebook. Magistra Blanche Barton touched upon this subject in her informative and insightful biography of Dr. LaVey, The Secret Life of a Satanist.
Watch the video above, then refer to the writings previously mentioned. Another case in point in which the world is now discovering what Satanists saw coming long ago.
—Warlock Jimmy Psycho
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